writing from the heart, today in our “opening up through grief” ritual

My heart is full of the answers I need. My heart is so full and so generous and so sweet when I slow down with her and give her room and attention.  She always just wanted – just needed – room and attention.  Being with our hearts is changing the world, is making it bigger, realer, truer, more sharp, more here.  I am not afraid of my heart because she is good and perfect.  She is the real thing, the real experience.  She is real love, real life.  My heart, I am sorry for segmenting you off, for pushing parts of you away, for scorning parts of you.  My heart is big and bold and wanting to be bigger.  My heart wants to grow, wants to stretch, wants to break.  I will let her.  I will support her.  With my breath.  With my awareness.  With my sky. With Sky.  With Father Sky.  I will not fear her.  I will not leave her.  I will not leave you alone, beautiful heart.  I will not abandon you.  You are never alone again.  I am becoming the sky, for you, my beautiful ocean. Every wave is mine. Cherished.  You are mine.  Cherished.  You are me.  Cherished.  Forgive me.  Please forgive me.  Please stay with me, trust me again.  My heart has some aching to be tended to.  Perhaps a good deal.  Perhaps more than I know.  That is why I am here.  That is why I have come.  To tend our shared heart.  To love this body, to love all of us.  I am showing up for it and to it and in it.  I forgive myself for anything, for everything, that muted it, made it hurt worse, made it hurt longer.  I am forgiving my sweet, silly ego for holding on so tight.